two thousand 9

on the eve of a decade

things haven't change (but why would they)

blurry eyed

more pills than friendships

on the way to the 911

i'm a cut(ter) about the rest

"we'll sleep when we're dead"

can't come soon enough

heart headed

the only heart burn I have came right off your lips

itchy head minus itchy trigger finger

ive only got bulleyes on chests and promises

hunting for broken hearts to get lost in

almost a month

and nothing ever changes.

screw the moth

I need you like a needle to the vein.

back to the epicenter of me

forget tonight or the next day. this is about the right and the now versus wrong. contemplate today before it becomes tomorrow. we're all accident prone and full of stitches...some more than others...some deeper than most. I'm not the same without you in between the sheets. My head needs this like salt needs an open wound. smile like a razor blade (straight and to the point). glow in the dark or the dark glow around my eyes. i'm confused more than i'm asleep. i can be the chill, just don't forget your spine this time.

dear mood swings...pull me back from hell just so I can get lost on earth. I don't belong here and I never have.

In memories we're all more alive. True blue love birds.

Being human is overrated. I've always wanted to be a monster. Reboot my system. Hard reset on soft conscience. Neurons are scrambled. Back to the lab. I will reseruect happiness. Send an S.O.S. back to the mothership. Send me back to where I belong. Heart full of glass. Crystal (ball) clear. Marked fragile and always flawed.

I wanna be more than just a tired set of eyes

Apologetic fueled binges. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry". Let me be the one to break your heart again. I've got the medication for your broken veins and loves. Romance never dies, only the romantics.

Stay(ing) committed to the drugs to stay clean of the institution. The urge to purge my head of everything and start over. My razor sharp tounge meets the underside of wrists and promises. From the shower stall to the afterlife.

The only way I know how to get to your heart?

through your guts.

xo

medication hangovers.

the west coast will be good for me. 24/7 summer time. the blues overheated, turned to sweat, and ran their way down the insides of my wrists. overdramatic. heat s(w)ave me now. cool me off and sell me out. welcome happiness goodbye loneliness. got the math wrong, I just needed another dose of you to get to me.

welcome back homesick headaches. it won't be this bad this time. not alone, more like a different version of the same moods.

my partner in crime.

et phone home

long distance love

hung my hopes out on the telephone line

"give me happiness" or give me death

xo

tonight...

...the headphones will deliver you the words I can't say.