Monday, November 8, 2010

baby heart th(rob)

your lips are my therapy
your hips are perscription knock out
second hand smoke and mirrors

feels like we've been here for years
runaways from sheets and into beds
ive been around the world and back
always getting lost in the black of my eyes

maps got me lost
the compass in my chest has me found
lets set sail for morning
once my eyes flutter close.



it's more about the love than the lust
it's more about the why then the how
xo

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Comic Con

perfect happiness
So last weekend we went to comic con.  I thought I'd post a few of the pictures that best capture the madness of comic con.  If you haven't been, I'd highly suggest it.  We saw panels for Dexter, Glee and the new Twisted Metal game.  But the hightlight (with regards to panels) was hands down the new Tommy Wiseau movie.  I don't want to spoil it, but let's just say October cannot come soon enough.


Pizza Party (in a box)


Joey Grecko (post stabbing)
Bumblebeeeeeeeeee
I got the chance to meet IJustine...who's a blogger that I've followed for awhile.  Super nice and told awesome stories about getting to guest star on Law and Order: SVU

The might hammer of Thor!
This is a bank.  As well as being the greatest thing ever!

If you haven't seen the movie "The Room", please do yourself a favor.  Google it, and find the nearest midnight showing and go.  This is a cut out mask of the leading force behind it, Tommy Wiseau.  I cannot begin to describe how insane that dude is.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

No good deed goes unnoticed

Invisible Children is a group that I've  known about for several years.  I first became exposed to the video when I was in college, and I've managed to turn a few of my friends on to it over the years.  It's a cause that I really believe in, and I wish more people were aware of it.

Sadly, Nate Henn, a "roadie" for the program, was tragically killed while working in Uganda.  He was my age...which really hits home.

"Last night at the Do Something Awards I wore a personally designed “I HEART NATE HENN” Shirt to show my love and respect for Nate, who was tragically killed in a terrorist attack in Uganda. Nate was a great dude who worked for Invisible Children and it’s horrible that a random act of violence took away such a bright and awesome guy. If you’d like to do something, please honor Nate and donate to his memorial fund at www.NateHenn.com"
via Pete Wentz's blog www.petewentz.com



If you get a chance, please head over to either invisiblechildren.com or natehenn.com to learn more and get involved in any way that you can. 



Wednesday, July 7, 2010

take a chance at being real

we all need something to believe in.  to keep hearts beating a little bit too fast.

believe in broken bones. and learn how to heal.
believe in blood. make your scars stories to tell when you get old.
believe in guts.  and the way you can take a punch to them but never give up

it's too easy to give up. to give in.  i've outgrown the easy route.  threw out the map that kept me stuck there.  get lost and found.  the truth of the matter is that i struggle every single day with myself.  the trick to keeping your head in the clouds is getting lost inside the machine that beats away.

make yourself happy.  it doesn't happen for free.
make an effort to smile about something every single day.
love someone or something. love it till you can't anymore. than go above and beyond. give into passion(s).

take a chance at being real.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

What's good in your life today?

For the last several months, I've been listening to David Stein's radio show every night on my way home from work.  It's a sports show with a unique twist.  It's more focused on the relationships and benefits sports have brought people.

I've never written into a show, or ever wanted to for that matter.  But for the last few days I've been composting a letter that I am sending in.

David,

I’ve never written to or contacted someone or something that I’m a fan of before.  It’s just not something I’ve ever felt the need to do.  Yet here I am, composing a letter to you, and your show.  Unreal.

I’ve had a few constants in life.  A great family, a love of the Boston Red Sox, and a brain that just is a bit off.  I’ve been clinically diagnosed with everything from insomnia, to major depression, and social anxiety, to permanent jet lag.  I prefer to think of things as “unique”.  Somedays everything works the ways they’re supposed to, and other days the chemicals are just too much for me.  It’s the hand I’ve been dealt.  

In September of last year, I moved away from my childhood home in St. Louis, Missouri, and moved across to the country to Phoenix Arizona, to be with the girl of my dreams.  Thankfully after living together for almost a year, she’s still crazy about me, and I’m crazy about her.  I have a job that I love, and things have been going relatively well for me, with regards to the way my life is going.  But I still have days where I wake up and I feel like a monster.

For about 8 weeks earlier this year, I was near psychotic.  I destroyed relationships, and very nearly almost lost everything I’ve ever held important.  I leave work at midnight, and when I’m leaving your show comes on the air.  I stumbled across it one night, and I’ve been an avid listener ever since.  

The word fate gets thrown around a lot, and really, without reason.  I happen to turn on a sports radio station and listen to a sports radio show.  That part isn’t surprising.  What is surprising, is how much this show has changed me (for the better of course!)  I’ve learned that although my brain my not always function the way I’d like it to, the chemicals cannot effect the way my heart beats.  I’ve learned to take pride in myself, and finds things that make me feel good about being a person again.

For what it’s worth, I’m always going to be a fan of the show.  And someday when you do a show about the Red Sox, I’ll be sure to call in.  But the real thing the show has taught me is how to be a fan of yourself.  “What’s good in your life?” is the question you ask most callers when they get in.  I ask myself that question every morning when I get out of bed, regardless of how much I may or may not want to.  Not because I want to, but because I need to.  

I’m more than the chemical in-balances.

That’s what’s good in my life.

Now like I said earlier, this is the first time I’ve ever done any sort of writing like this.  I can imagine that you get lots of emails, and just hoping that you’ll read this is enough for me.  But there is a part of me that hopes to hear something back.  Either way, I’ll be listening.

Go Red Sox!

Andrew 
andrew@andrewjoemorris.com




Remember...no matter what.  YOU are always more than your chemical in-balances.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

from the playbook

i used a cheap love you and turned it into an even cheaper fuck (you)

oh, you'll see




ou don't know how much I adore
this damp rag soaked in chloroform
It makes me so hard to ignore
cause I could never keep your attention
I'm not one to make threats
I've been reduced to promises
I lie to myself cause I do it best
I'm not honest with my intentions

So if the blindfold starts to slip
and the rope starts to rip
and I slowly start to give in
girl, you know I'm sorry

But tonight I'll wait until I know you're fast asleep
to poison you with memories of you and me
I pray you die slowly so I can be the last thing you see

you'll see

Girl you're busy and that's fine
but there's one thing I gotta get off my mind
I won't take too much of your time
I promise this won't last long
I used to be your biggest fan,
you used to say I was your man
Now if I can't have you no one can
I'll be the last boy you hang up on

So if the blindfold starts to slip
and the rope starts to rip
and I slowly start to give in
girl, you know I'm sorry

But tonight I'll wait until I know you're fast asleep
to poison you with memories of you and me
I pray you die slowly so I can be the last thing you see

oh you'll see

She's losing consciousness
I'm gaining confidence
It's starting to make sense
She's covered in finger prints
From her lips to her hips
All I wanted was one more kiss

She's losing consciousness
I'm gaining confidence
It's starting to make sense
She's covered in finger prints
From her lips to her hips
All I wanted was one more kiss

Tonight I'll wait until I know you're fast asleep
to poison you with memories of you and me
I pray you die slowly so I can be the last thing you see

Monday, June 14, 2010

note to self

i've got a pharmaceutical wish list.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I feel brand new again


in·spi·ra·tion




–noun
1.
an inspiring or animating action or influence: I cannot writepoetry without inspiration.
2.
something inspired, as an idea.
3.
a result of inspired activity.
4.
a thing or person that inspires.
5.
Theology .
a.
a divine influence directly and immediately exertedupon the mind or soul.
b.
the divine quality of the writings or words of a personso influenced.
6.
the drawing of air into the lungs; inhalation.
7.
the act of inspiring; quality or state of being inspired.




Wednesday, June 2, 2010

rip

from this:


to this:




rest in peace emo hair cut.  we barely knew ya

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

re(inspire)



Fall Out Boy-"Hum Hallelujah"


It's all a game of this or that, now versus then
better off against worse for wear
And you’re someone who knows someone who knows someone I once knew
And I just want to be a part of this

The road outside my house is paved with good intentions
Hired a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine
You are the dreamer and we are the dream.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

My words are my faith to hell with our good name.
A remix of your guts-your insides X-rayed
And one day we'll get nostalgic for disaster
we're a bull, your ears are just a china shop

I love you in the same way, there's a chapel in a hospital
One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door
Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills.
I could write it better than you ever felt it.

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu...
Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu...
(Hum hallelujah (Hum hallelujah), hum hallelujah (Hum hallelujah))

A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

So hum hallelujah,
Just off the key of reason
I thought I loved you
It was just how you looked in the light.
A teenage vow in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)
"Till tonight do us part"
Love in a parking lot (Hum hallelujah)
"Till tonight do us part"
A teenage vow in a parking lot
"Till tonight do us part"
I sing the blues and swallow them too

Thursday, May 13, 2010

greatness

put you life on hold for about 8 minutes and remember how great this is

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Monday, May 10, 2010

got lost in the stars








weightless

but not quite worthless

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

a map without a compass


I was neck deep in madness for 8 weeks.  It’s only now that since I’ve been “clean” so to speak that I’ve been able to figure out what exactly has happened and how many bodies lay behind me. 

I’m going to attempt to digest and interpret the past 8 weeks with my best educated guess as to where the time and my head ventured.  I’m using receipts and my bread crumbs back to whatever happened.  Most of these stories will be in my first zine that should be available sometime late spring/early summer. 

This isn’t going to be fun.  It certainly won’t make much sense.  Chronologically speaking, it’s out of total order.  But it happened.  It shook me to my core and turned my entire world inside out.


This isn’t for you. 

This is for me.




Tuesday, May 4, 2010

mindless self indulgence

not an original idea.  but not a bad idea either.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

the eyes are the give away. they are dull and faded from past glory.

my eyes write eulogies my head cannot possibly cash.  exhausted and desperate. my wrists are simply landing points and extraction zones for the blades and second chances.  Die alone in an unmarked grave for an unremarkable life.  I'm tired of the diagnosis, I simply want a prognosis of how to make this better.  Remind the doctors that the clock is ticking.  I don't have forever.

I

Am


Not




Well

Monday, April 26, 2010

in a world gone mad

all we've got is the madness to hang onto

Friday, April 23, 2010

I'm not Okay (I promise)




Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

thanks to you

i'm starting to figure out who I am.

This is the beginning.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

surgically i'm a mess

Tearing out my hair
on a bedroom floor
empty all the meds
never anymore
for sure
throbbing in my flesh
breaking out in scarlet sores
therapy I've been enslaved
I think I'll medicate this rage

So now I've crossed the line
(tearing out my hair on a bedroom floor)

Fixing up the drugs
with a tiny flame
put 'em in my lungs
and forget my name
I blame my parents for molesting me
with self-fulfilling prophecies
the teacher for indulging me
his shit dressed up in fury, fear and shame
">

So now I've crossed the line
(put 'em in my lungs and forget my name)

High and I'll drive
I'll get high and I'll drive

If I were the keys
then where would I be
if it's up to me
then I will be free
if I were the keys
then where would I be
if it's up to me
then I will be free

yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah