Saturday, July 3, 2010

What's good in your life today?

For the last several months, I've been listening to David Stein's radio show every night on my way home from work.  It's a sports show with a unique twist.  It's more focused on the relationships and benefits sports have brought people.

I've never written into a show, or ever wanted to for that matter.  But for the last few days I've been composting a letter that I am sending in.


I’ve never written to or contacted someone or something that I’m a fan of before.  It’s just not something I’ve ever felt the need to do.  Yet here I am, composing a letter to you, and your show.  Unreal.

I’ve had a few constants in life.  A great family, a love of the Boston Red Sox, and a brain that just is a bit off.  I’ve been clinically diagnosed with everything from insomnia, to major depression, and social anxiety, to permanent jet lag.  I prefer to think of things as “unique”.  Somedays everything works the ways they’re supposed to, and other days the chemicals are just too much for me.  It’s the hand I’ve been dealt.  

In September of last year, I moved away from my childhood home in St. Louis, Missouri, and moved across to the country to Phoenix Arizona, to be with the girl of my dreams.  Thankfully after living together for almost a year, she’s still crazy about me, and I’m crazy about her.  I have a job that I love, and things have been going relatively well for me, with regards to the way my life is going.  But I still have days where I wake up and I feel like a monster.

For about 8 weeks earlier this year, I was near psychotic.  I destroyed relationships, and very nearly almost lost everything I’ve ever held important.  I leave work at midnight, and when I’m leaving your show comes on the air.  I stumbled across it one night, and I’ve been an avid listener ever since.  

The word fate gets thrown around a lot, and really, without reason.  I happen to turn on a sports radio station and listen to a sports radio show.  That part isn’t surprising.  What is surprising, is how much this show has changed me (for the better of course!)  I’ve learned that although my brain my not always function the way I’d like it to, the chemicals cannot effect the way my heart beats.  I’ve learned to take pride in myself, and finds things that make me feel good about being a person again.

For what it’s worth, I’m always going to be a fan of the show.  And someday when you do a show about the Red Sox, I’ll be sure to call in.  But the real thing the show has taught me is how to be a fan of yourself.  “What’s good in your life?” is the question you ask most callers when they get in.  I ask myself that question every morning when I get out of bed, regardless of how much I may or may not want to.  Not because I want to, but because I need to.  

I’m more than the chemical in-balances.

That’s what’s good in my life.

Now like I said earlier, this is the first time I’ve ever done any sort of writing like this.  I can imagine that you get lots of emails, and just hoping that you’ll read this is enough for me.  But there is a part of me that hopes to hear something back.  Either way, I’ll be listening.

Go Red Sox!

Andrew matter what.  YOU are always more than your chemical in-balances.

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